“I’m too much for people”.

Once I started figuring out a few things in school, I reasoned that certain approaches to teaching didn’t make sense. Teaching people something with no apparent understanding of its purpose in the outside world for example -made clear! I guess if some people can see what’s on their horizon, they can put 2 and 2 together. In my case I didn’t. I couldn’t. I didn’t know what my future held so how could I khow could I know the usefulness or the meaningfulness of what meaningfulness what it was I was studying at the time. 🤷‍♂️

Some people are actually in a position where they get to demand (expect) perfection from their fellow human-beings, with compliance on the part of the individual as their response. I was never afforded that privilege, that respect [in my personal relationships]. I guess in order to get such conformity conformity from another human being, there has to be something significant in their mind in it for them. As I reasoned many years ago, I think many women are only compliant to the extent that there is something in it for them, and how much? Women respect men with power, and money -if only on the outside. 🤷‍♂️😏 It seems to be human nature that the more you stand to gain, the more you’re willing to endure or put up with or go through. Many relationships that should have ended immediately last for years because of the perks. And don’t tell me it isn’t so! All along, I actually thought I was a really worthless person. When in reality, from a rather selfish or shallow perspective, I simply didn’t have enough going for people to put up with me -Which appears to be more often than one might think, the common way of doing things in America; the common way of making relationships last longer than they should. I DON’T DO ARRANGEMENTS [WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME; WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING TO THE TABLE… THIS IS WHAT “JOE” OVER THERE HAS TO OFFER, WHAT ARE YOU OFFERING?]. SICKENING! THIS “CONDITIONAL-LOVE”. THIS ARRANGING OF… THIS WEIGHING OF… THIS SYSTEMATIC CHECKING OF “CHECKS AND BALANCES”, THIS MAPPING OUT… WELL HOW’S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU? A KID WITH OUT IT’S FATHER, A MONTHLY CHECK IN THE MAIL… DOES THAT WORK FOR YOU? AND YOUR KID, Maybe he doesn’t see his father is the problem like you do. And how much of that check does he really get to see every month? Maybe doesn’t care about that check as much as you do. Pfffff! And maybe, just maybe he or she has a greater capacity for accepting their father unconditionally than you do!