When more of you wants [needs] X than [wants] Y, and there is a conflict, you tend to end up with X or neither. No matter how badly you want Y. Honestly, as bad as I wanted a relationship all my life, I needed something else more which prevented me from making one work. Ask certain men and I’ll tell you that women are fairly easy. If you know what you’re doing. It wouldn’t be very hard for me to know what to do given my intellect, my years on this planet – problem is it’s not the most important thing on my agenda. What is gas a profound, overwhelming impact on what I want very badly. And the fact of the matter is that the town I live in is dumb livin has done little to dissuade my attitude in that regard. Speaking of the Y not the X.

I am guessing that no matter how traumatized a person is it’s, whatever reasons the world has given them not to trusted, they’re placed in an environment where they finally feel safe, yeah I’m a they’re defense mechanisms will subside largely in that environment. My problem in relationships where my defense mechanisms in mechanisms shot through the ceiling is that I never felt safe – And looking back calm of the people I was involved with never seemed overwhelming interested in my feeling safe. 🤷‍♂️ For many people feeling safe is the other person’s issue or responsibility not theirs.

Judging people is a waste of time. Last of all, I don’t have the actual power to condemn anyways -so what’s the point?

You use whatever power you have in any given situation -thus avoiding the victim role. Obviously in most cases victims have more power than they apply or utilize.

We don’t contribute to the problem even among problematic people. Think good and hard about that concept. And think about just how many times you or I have contributed to the problem. Some of us even creating the problem. Now step back and try and ponder this new approach.