One’s progress in a relationship will be considerably hindered if they are unwilling to be vulnerable. Vulnerability seems to be the last thing we human beings give up and it is the thing that stands in between us and God and it is the thing that stands between us and others and it is the thing that stands between the alcoholic and God who can only do his work once we let him in. Two things, again let me reiterate, when there are multiple things propping something up it becomes increasingly difficult to counter it. Fear and ego are generally the 2 foes responsible for many traits in us stubbornly refusing to go away, to relent. It has been my achilles-heel all of my life. Surprisingly at a very young age, I was able to get sober and allow just enough of God in. Fear stemming from years of hurt and threat from the world around me has built a callous wall of that very fabric. Ego, probably runs in my nature or in my family 1st and foremost. As I’ve stated previously, some people go through a difficult childhood but ego does not appear to be their 1st line of defense. Defiance and so forth. Nor cruelty as kind of a payback. While I didn’t mutilate animals, or rape and torture, I hurt people -sometimes unprovoked. 😪 Mostly psychologically and emotionally, at times physically.

Funny how often we end up hurting people who had nothing to do with hurting us rather than hurting those who hurt us. At a traffic stop somebody runs past it cutting us off, or at another traffic stop somebody flips us off, never to be seen or heard from again. But if the next traffic stop… We do the same to an innocent person.

As children who do you think our 1st gods are? The adults around us for better or for worse and ingrained in us the vision of God. For many of us it stays with us throughout our lives no matter what attempts are made at intervening and giving us the true sense, the true essense of who God really is, and what he really stands for.