There’s something about women who grew up mostly with brothers, they seemed to understand us men better. And of course the same can be said of men who grow up mostly with sisters.

Do you know what it’s like to have lived a life where you have missed so much and been given so much? It’s an odd existence.

Finding yourself is one of the most important things in life. Once [innocence is] lost, some never do! I’m having a devil of a time. I think becoming vulnerable is an necessary part of the process.

A person who does for others and asks for nothing -will get along with the vast majority of humanity. Even those who do for others and on occasion ask for something will get along with some people.

I don’t know what this is specifically in reference to as there were several issues occurred in my childhood, and of course I only added to the shame as an adult for many years. But I wish to say that it can take a very long time for a person to begin then to begin to feel true compassion for themselves, true love. Some people with certain backgrounds never get there. A lot of them never get there. 😪 For the last year year and a 1/2 I have begun to feel something there’s something inside of me likened to compassion and love. And I’m over 32 years sober. I don’t know why I haven’t given up at least on that. What is the life without self love and compassion for one self? Though? I could answer that but it’s sort of that but it take a very long time I’m time to share everything I know on that subject.

How is a person to know how truly fortunate they are or if they have no idea what it’s like not to have it?

In the movie “The Hunt” with Mads Mickelson, It makes me think about how far too few of us are unable to go through a severe human drama to completion as is the case with this movie. Some of us make it part of the way. Some of us will not start at all. Some of us will only make it worse -and nothing more.

If you meet a good person who is relatively attractive, and is attracted to you… It’s like finding a job you love to do, that pays well, that you do well. 🤷‍♂️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏾‍♂️ Only a fool…

Some people believe that the thing that makes the least sense in the world is to show kindness to somebody who hurt us -and yet, that’s the “Christian way”. I’ve been there myself and speaking only for my own twisted perspective, I felt quite stupid. Perhaps as stupid as it is powerful to perform such an act.

People who go into fits of rage and people who do not go into fits of rage over things which would normally make any person angry, It’s the reasoning and what goes through their mind just prior that makes the blood boil over, or not. For much of my life I’ve looked at things in the worst possible fashion. In some cases bad things. In some cases things that never were -but only appeared as if they might… I’ve spent my whole life using my mind to put daggers in my heart. With an early background such as my own, it’s understandable that I would develop a mentality of expecting the worst -difficult way to go through life.

Youth is one of the most valuable things on Earth along with health, kings would kill for it.

Issues are very seductive [we love them] and cunning [we’re in the right acting as such] and even shrouded/veiled [can’t see them though others can], how else would they:

•Exist year after year decade after decade;

•Exist year after year decade after decade even when we have become aware of them;

•Exist year after year decade after decade even after they causes considerable loss and sorrow…

•I have an even mentioned ego and fear

And remember 🤔, when something is propped up by multiple reinforcements -it’s all the more difficult to rid ourselves of them. I am having a hell of a time with certain issues, coping mechanisms… Unbecoming what I have become. The vast majority of my years in an environment that encourages change, I have mostly thumbed my nose upwith regard to most of my defects. And then to add insult to injury, one of my favorite justifications is that everyone else is doing it why shouldn’t I? It’s hard not to be a jerk when somebody’s being a jerk to you. I guess you have to be something of a jerk to begin with because not everyone finds it difficult not to be a jerk when someone’s a jerk to them. These few basic things make it so hard. Hell, I haven’t even included satan’s part -or a lack of willingness on my part to ask God for assistance in these matters.

There’s the anger that comes from what people have done to us unprovoked; And the anger that comes from us from the decisions we have made that have heard us And the anger that comes from us from the decisions we have made that have hurt us. Many times a [previously] traumatized person will carry both.

Many things are changing around us 🤔; BUT GOD HASN’T.

The greater [broader] the void in one’s life the more room they have to shed love on one Since most human beings seem [choose] to be finite in their ability [how many] to love.

When are they going to start charging to download the apps? Man is a greedy sucker

The smarter [more aware] and/or the greedier people become, the harder will be to find deals out there, bargains.

We need to start pulling back on putting a price tag on everything. Like in the old days. Otherwise, everywhere you [and I] turn someone will be charging a fee. Elsewise, is that the kind of future you want for your children?

Someone is trying to depersonalize America. Make it a business as usual kind of a place. “Oh it’s $10 for that avocado and $3 to process your card”. I ran into somebody like this one time and I looked at them like are you nuts and they had to look on their face like everything was perfectly normal – Probably one of those touristy kind of places. Taking advantage of people should never be a normal sort of thing to someone.

If people are not here for GOD [defiant, selfish creatures that we are] why would you think people are here for you. And let’s be clear HINT/CLUE: People quite often avail themselves to GOD when some crisis has brought them to their knees and they are desperately [or horny, or have some other sensual…] in need; but when things are honky-dory, bellies full, family is healthy… SO, WE OPERATE, IF WE SO CHOOSE, UNDER THE PREMISE THAT PEOPLE REALLY DON’T NEED US UNTIL THEY NEED US; WE OPERATE UNDER THIS PREMISE, IN SPITE OF THIS PAINFUL FACT, WE SEEK TO BE THERE FOR OTHERS. 🤷‍♂️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏾‍♂️

The numbers speak for themselves

Just look at the number of people: Where people tend to flock to and where they don’t tend to flock to. People flock towards celebrity and power and excitement. They flock towards beauty. People shy away from weakness and dullness and ugliness. That’s one thing you need to know about the human species. At least that’s the case in this arrogant society we call America. I saw a young girl on YouTube who had said you only need to know 2 things about a man. And it was the stupidest thing I’ve heard in a long time. “Their height begins with a 6 and their weight begins with a 2”. People in this country tend to shy away from things that build strength and character. That’s why so many of us are out of shape. Out of shape physically out of shape emotionally out of shape spiritually. Many times we don’t even think -we just let our feelings, our instincts push and pull us wherever they may. WHAT A LIFE!

Look for their next move: For those seeking power never rest for long; They are in a perpetratual state of restlessness!

Just because you’re one of those rare people who still bursting with energy late in life doesn’t mean life hasn’t ran you down.

My dad, my aunt, myself, are we the way we are with people, with situations that hurt us because we’re weak rather than strong??? I spanked Daisy moderately on the behind, and then 5 seconds later across her cheek hairy hard. WHY DID I DO THAT TO THIS LITTLE CREATURE I LOVE DEARLY? BECAUSE SHE GROWLED EVERY TIME I PICKED HER UP TO GO OUTSIDE [IN THE COLD] TO GO POTTY??? BECAUSE AT ONE POINT, AT THAT POINT SHE FEIGNED BITING??? SHE DIDN’T HURT ME PHYSICALLY. AND I don’t ever want her respect through fear or intimidation. And what about all those other people I hurt in previous years???😪 Shouldn’t they matter moreso!!! GOD forgive me!!! Daisy forgive me!!! All you out there I have hurt, please, please 🙏🏻 forgive me!!! I’ve been wrong! 😔

You wanna be what you wanna be

You’re gonna be what you’re gonna be

It’ll happen entually [blossoms-Bruce Springsteen].

So what are the benefits of no longer having cultural lines within America? And who benefits most from a society that is just a mixture of races and no longer specific races?

A relationship or a marriage has a better chance of surviving if we seek to help those we are married or in relationship win relationship with even during those times when they disappoint us come even hurt us.. I’m not implying that in every instance a relationship or a marriage should be sustained or even can be.

In a sense, it’s partly our responsibility not to bring those around us down. If for no other reason, they’re state of mind, whatever happens to be going on in their life at the moment, or whatever’s happened to them in their life previously, they may not be able to handle any more. Call it more of a consideration than a tactic[al move -you see we met often do things in our relationships for a number of reasons; and not always the best ones 🤔].

I just had a thought from many years ago about one of my early relations. My girlfriend and I had great sex until that one fateful day came when she said “I don’t feel like it toda or tonight”. It makes a person start wondering -at least it did me. I was unable to accept it for what it was if that in fact all it was. It nodded at me because I thought there was something wrong with me or something was going on with her and someone else. It nawed not at me until I broke the relationship. It wasn’t the last relationship this occurred. Have problems with things like this throughout my life. Problems like this at other men would probably take issue with as well as women. But also problems that I’m sad healthier, more well rounded people are able to cope with better.

If you are under the impression that life isn’t tough [for all of us]… When it is you may find yourself:

•Caught off-guard;

•Thinking life isn’t fair;

•Thinking you’re justified and turning to alcohol or drugs;

•Thinking about violence or manipulation or lying as a means of getting around your situation;

•Thinking your a victim [and all sorts of things can ensue from there[;

•If we say think something’s not right we’re more apt to deal with it wrong [some of us].