Don’t let malicious, condemning thoughts fester.

Alcoholics have to deal with life, their own basic human condition, and their alcoholism.

Took me a long time to reach a point where I wouldn’t lash out at people for doing things which hurt me. I would still go to people and talk to them about the hurt I endured. And then they would say that I should have spoke up for myself -which is all my ego needed to hear. I figured even if things don’t workout, even if things fall on a deaf ear, I needed to speak out if only for the principle of the thing. Now I’m beginning to realize:

•That outcomes do matter, sometimes more than the principle of the thing.

•That its pointless to speak out against people calm even hurt people if it’s not going to change anything for for the better for all parties included.

•That it is better to do our best to make things work between ourselves and others, and perhaps more often than not, that means keeping our thoughts and our feelings to ourselves.

•Just because I complain and criticize, in most cases doesn’t result in people changing, people change when they decide to.

•Hurting people gives them a opportunity to rebel, to justify their actions and thus avoid change. Anger and resentment fuel stubbornness and egotistical attitudes. While taking one on the chin often fuels guilt and remorse, which are the avenues for seeking change.

•Do you want to be right or do you want to get along with those you care about, and have them remain in your lives?