At this point in my sobriety I don’t feel the need to stick up for myself as much as I used to. I believe that where we’re at in our lives, the stage we happened to be in at I’m going to be in at any given time, determines what we need to do for ourselves and what we can do for ourselves. I said in the meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous this morning that I mean that I no longer felt as much of a need to speak out against people who hurt me. Confront them. That I was recommended to do so for my own well being by friends however. It’s all my ego needed to hear. I took the advice, hurt my family, didn’t accomplish anything. Didn’t change them. Didn’t change the outcome. You can’t have a reasonable conversation with unreasonable people. But I think early on when my esteem was low, and I was full of fear, perhaps I needed to speak up for myself. See I was in one stage of my life at one point, and now I’m in another stage of my life. Fear and immaturity. When they run high… when they run low… Where were at [in our healing and development] largely determines how we are to react or act. Man, in most cases must, or will choose, to undergo a process [in stages]. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏾‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Use your mind to assist in making good decisions in all your endeavors, and if necessary, shut off your mind so as not to get wrapped up in the outcomes, in anticipation of the outcomes.

So I’m sitting in my aunt Uncle’s house with a bunch of family for Christmas, for Christmas, things are being shared and behaviors beand behaviors being displayed here in their, and of course my alcoholic brain is firing. Sometimes you just gotta shut things off. 🤷‍♂️

For many of us Alcoholics who are continually monitoring, evaluating the attitudes and behaviors of those around us in an effort to calm our fears, in an effort to wring some joy or happiness out of an otherwise drab, or gloomy outlook, AN ATTITUDE, A PHILOSOPHY OF “MAKE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS” CAN DRASTICALLY EFFECT THIS TYPE OF TENDENCY OR RELIANCE, OR EXPECTATION.