If we have to resort to screwing each other over in order to survive -then maybe it’s best we die -in God’s Graces… and with a clear conscience.
Don’t tread on me!
Nobody can harm our relationship with God or our sense of dignity (based upon how we conduct our selves) only we can do harm to these two most hallowed of grounds -in the criminal world this is something long forgotten, or dismissed. Such examples of humanity are the epitome of me of one’s placement of importance on the material, as well as physical survival, rather than that of the spiritual!
In order to pursue the material in an ungodly fashion -one must tread upon one’s own spirit. It’s better to be poor in spirit -than to be rich! I can’t tell you all the times I did harm to my spirit in the pursuit of people, things… I think the thing that saved me from being drunk, from relapsing was simply my motivations – I don’t believe my intentions were ever malicious although my responses (fear-based) in the face of continued -at some sort of normal life; to find a life very different from the one I experienced in my childhood -I think God was both extremely understanding and patient with my plight. And I who normally hate physical pain in… seemed to apparently endure emotional pain and spiritual pain more readily… Was also able to endure.
When the going gets tough (Billy Ocean)
Some people make a decision one time and it’s it; Others seemingly have to start each day anew with a renewed commitment to a decision made prior. I remember after a couple years in Alcoholics Anonymous being confronted with the choice of continuing to move forward sober -or going back to where I came from. I had to take moments and think about this very carefully and very seriously – During those times in my life when sobriety wasn’t working out the way I had hoped it would. You see people wanted more than what I had to give.. It left me lonely call, rejected, wanting more than what they were willing to give because because they apparently felt they weren’t getting what they wanted sufficiently.
I tell people in the program “Life sometimes sucks but sobriety has always been wonderful”. I tell them a lot of times people in the program get life confused with sobriety – That while life sometimes sucks, sobriety is the most wonderful gift I’ve ever been given. If I throw it away come I throw away everything that’s good about my life eventually. Maybe that’s why some people with long term sobriety choose suicide over relapse -they refuse to throw away the one thing that’s good about their lives. If that makes sense.
I was told many years ago that “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”