•How many people I thought didn’t like me -when the reality of it was that I wasn’t even on their radar.

•How many people I thought I offended, or owed an amends to whom, when I approached, had no clue what I was talking about!*

•How many women I thought might be interested, and weren’t – how many were, and I thought weren’t!

*making amends as a part of our recovery is a crucial part of the process of staying sober via Alcoholics Anonymous**. Many years ago I made a conscious choice, and basically stopped “admitting when I was wrong, and promptly admitting it”. My reasoning: it got to point where, I guess I got so self-centered about the whole thing I was making amends for things people didn’t even notice; but the main reason was that I was fed up with being the only one ever admitting I was wrong!***

**well maybe the rest of the world doesn’t feel the need to hold themselves to a higher standard of living; don’t feel desperate enough… You see, I have a disease whose treatment requires constant maintenance in the form of continued spiritual growth – self-accountability… among other things. “The inventory was ours, not the other man’s”****. It seems harsh and rather unfair – but is it? We in Alcoholics Anonymous, relegated (the choice is ours) to such ego-deflating practices, are probably some of the luckiest people in an otherwise fairly screwy world – some of you might actually be surprised! Anyways, no one forced the alcohol down our throats (in the vast majority of cases).

**Things I fell in love with about Alcoholics Anonymous:

You cannot be kicked out for any reason whatsoever;

There are no rules, organization, or leaders -only trusted servants;

Whatever we may have been or may be presently on the outside, we are all equal in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous;

We are all God’s children

We are all flawed

We had to stop blaming others and look at ourselves***

***Alcoholics Anonymous was essentially everything the world wasn’t -at least not in the world I had experienced

****Excerpt credited to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, chapter 5, pg. 67.

•Title credited to Pete Haycock/Colin Cooper/Richard Jones/Derek Holt/John Cuffley – sung by the great Climax Blues Band.