We don’t have to like the way things are down here on Earth, the realities of it all, the realities we strive so hard to forget or to pretend otherwise…. We just have to deal with them! I don’t know about you, but the reality is I really don’t like what I’ve had to contend with down here on Earth. Many, many things irk me to no end.

I think I’m one of those “tormented souls”.

If you’ve never watched the video “We Are the World” on YouTube -IT’S EXTREMELY HEART-WARMING AND POWERFUL!

I was watching a movie today called “North to Alaska” starring John Wayne, Stewart Granger, and Capucine. I take a personal interest in reading about various celebrities. Earlier this evening I decided to familiarize myself with this actress known as “Capucine”. Very, very beautiful woman. I was very sad when I read about her death -It put me in an odd mood which is not all that rare for me but… I was both shaken and saddened. You see, I find myself in a similar circumstance; for how long I know not. I find myself living somewhat of a life of a recluse with increasing periods it seems, where I do not leave the apartment. It frightened me! It made me think about God’s plan. It made me think about so many people alone in the world who do not wish to be. It made me question for a moment whether God’s plan is so important that it should overshadow the pain of this sort of loneliness, emptiness, separation? It made me ask the question, “What about what we want?” Of course the world itself plays a part in this as well. I don’t choose to live this way strictly by choice. It seems to me there’s no place in the world for me. I believe the world has a certain code that one chooses to live by or not; that one is capable of living by or not. I understand very well the torment of:

• Being a particular type of person in order to fit into the world;

• Having an irresistible or uncontrollable urge to defy that law;

• Coming to the realization that even on your best day -you could not pull it off (make it work) even if you wanted to [BECAUSE THERE’S JUST SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU]! 😔