For some people going through severe pain, severe emotional pain without acting out or lashing out is next to impossible. Try!

For me personally, anytime GOD, or life placed struggles in front of me, I became very irritated and irrational. Therefore, a mindset, a spirit which is adequately prepared for such trials; a mindset, a spirit which has sufficient understanding of GOD’S plan and what is required to bring about such a plan to fruition, are immensely helpful in these trying moments! It is something I have never known or understood; but perhaps now, a ray of that understanding is just now beginning to shine upon me; an openness within me which allows that light to penetrate after so many decades of darkness and apathy!

Man wants GOD to meet him at his level [BY DOING NOTHING]; GOD WANTS MAN TO MEET HIM AT HIS LEVEL [BY CLIMBING].

It is for some, a seemingly impossible task to endure what life hands them without becoming bitter. Think about the idea of of facing all of life’s trials, all that GOD places in your path, while refraining from becoming bitter towards life, towards GOD, towards others. How do we accomplish this?

•First of all, what is the point of becoming bitter;

•Secondly, the notion of what is fair, and not fair is largely subjective from man’s point of view;

•Thirdly, think of the Blessed Mother; She lost her husband [lifelong companion]; then Her SON went away to evangelise; She thus spent the remaining years of Her life largely in isolation, and without her greatest loves, subordinate only to Her love for God. But while Jesus work on earth had been completed, Hers continued for a number of years, 9 or 10 I believe. Loneliness, and much suffering were likely her lot quite often and; ALOT OF SOULS WERE SNATCHED FROM THE HANDS OF SATAN AS A RESULT OF THIS GREAT SACRIFICE!*

It is very difficult for most men to conceive of obeying God while accepting where, when, what type of reward, if any, GOD in HIS nfinite wisdom chooses to hand down. Without reward, of a nature man himself can understand, and value, the prospects for following GOD’S plan often appear bleak! It is very difficult for many men to endure to endure the trials of life, of his fellow human beings, without compensation, without encouragement, without “hope of”… All my life I have wanted something from my fellow human-beings in return for the meager efforts I have put forth -always looking for something to replace that which was lost so early in life. But how much differently am I really from others in this country, in this regard? Sadly, I do not believe it to be so 😔

*I have lost everything; and now with Ana speaking of moving away, taking Daisy, I too am faced with what already has for the most been a relatively isolated existence, utter loneliness**. Perhaps a few souls will be saved through my own despair? Loneliness and isolation for many, is among mankind’s greatest fears. For a traumatic who has suffered much loss, known only feelings of being disconnected, this proposition is of a grave magnitude! I don’t know, I see no alternative based upon my feelings towards humanity [what I have been through], and what I have experienced from those in this area I live in. Little, compensation, little encouragement, I have received for my efforts 😔 I don’t consider those efforts noble nor heroic, but certainly founded in some degree of unrequited love for my fellow human-beings.

**The prospect of supporting Ana through this very, very difficult decision while letting my hopes of the past 13 + years gracefully fall to the wayside [expect nor ask nothing in return] will be a whole new experience for me 😪 BUT THIS I SUPPOSE IS HOW WE GROW INTO THE NEXT PAIR OF 👞 👞 GOD HAS FASHIONED FOR US. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏿‍♀️🤷‍♂️