Some people are great at supporting, coaxing, bringing along other people -but can’t seem to do so with regard to themselves. But then there are those people who can -and that is really something!

If we have to climb over each other to get something how badly do we really need it? How good is it for us really? We have to keep pulling our egos out of the closet and in order to triumph, to outdo the next fellow, is it really worth it? I’m speaking specifically about women in the area I live. Women whose attitude is borderline bullying. Women will say they have to be that way in order to get what they want or to be heard. But I was that way for most of my life; and GOD is trying to teach me to put my ego in park or neutral gear. Maybe there’s a lesson there for you as well -I don’t know 🤷‍♂️

Between my own issues and yours, I’m worn out! Discouraged!

“It takes alot of character to storm the arena Rick”. “Well, there doesn’t seem to be ample appreciation for gladiators these days”. “There seldom is Rick -there seldom is”. 🙃

“People seldom want to admit to anything [perhaps since they don’t feel obligated to answer to GOD in many instances, why would they feel obligated to do so with their fellowman 🤷‍♂️]. And God repeatedly states in “The Poem of the MAN-GOD” that we are not to judge others, but to the best of our ability to love, and forgive. “It just seems to me that between people’s attitudes, and GOD’S LAWS, there’s little room for US Christians ✝️: what we think, feel… tough road to hoe man!” 🤷‍♂️ 😕 “SIGHS”.

Do you [also] have a tendency to [change] STOP doing what was working? I do! 😔 For example, for a while I was putting my check into an account every month which had a balance due, collecting monthly interest. By depositing a good chunk of my check, I was negating the interest more-or-less. But then, I stopped doing it! 🤔🤷‍♂️

The longer we use and drink the more we change. And the more our bodies weaken in their ability to resist.

Who I am, what I’m worth -does not depend on what I do for a living or how much money I make 🤷‍♂️

The lower 50-percentile of young people under 30 in this country lie without conscience nowadays I’m guessing.

If we keep going the way we’re going, it’s gonna be the children propositioning the pedophiles!

It’s better to suffer moments of quiet awkwardness with another human being, then it is to say something stupid, forced..

Everything in movies is so seemingly seamless until it’s more entertaining not to be. And that’s what makes movies different from life.

What makes news worthy? That which peaks the interest of the typical human-being? Is that what people are scattered about chasing world events for? Or is it the money?

That’s all television does, that’s all movies do all day long is wave these pretty young ladies underneath our noses, trying to capture our attention so that they can get our money -or somebody’s money. I’m a man and I’m sick of it. This constant manipulation, this constant luring. Like were some kind of a trout or something. They bait the hook and we bite? We have to operate from a higher place than that. We act like fish and the fisherman’s gonna keep baitin’ the 🪝 budd 🤷‍♂️

I was reminded in a reading from “The Poem of the Man-GOD” [pg 216 v4 of 5] of something God told me many years ago -25 or so. We’re ashamed of what other people might think if they found out about us but we’re not ashamed about what God thinks. Concerning many people, this is indicative of the faith we have in GOD vs man. How real one is versus the other to us. How much weight we put on consequences: ego; monetary; physical; concerning GOD vs man. WHY DO THESE THINGS NOT EVER CHANGE! 😔

Many women whether they know it or not, whether they admit to it or not are looking for a father figure in a relationship the relationship as one dimension of it. It is evident to me that with regard to Anna, I lack the requisite qualities to fulfill that need. Her husband for all he lacks, apparently doesn’t like this quality entirely. I’m sad! The impact of one’s childhood probably does not cease until one dies. If there’s one thing I regret more than anything at this moment in my life regarding my childhood it’s my inability to be the kind of man this woman needs me to be. 🤷‍♂️😔

By circumstance or by choice we are highly limited by the things we experience going on in the world. GOD on the other hand hasn’t the luxury. Since the dawn of man he has endured every single act, thought, attitude, negation. communication.

Someone in a relationship is generally inferior in what they have to offer, who they are, who they aspire to be (come). It’s where that people are more or less entirely compatible.

Alot of us men need to be less concerned with how a woman looks, and more concerned with what’s in the pit of her soul.

I think there are big parts of me missing, parts that normally form with a balanced, proper upbringing. Were these pieces in place, would they interfere with my ability to write, to contact that place where they come from? I don’t know 🤷‍♂️

Trying to bring truth, sanity to a world gone mad is both dangerous and disheartening. All I want is to go do things with my Ana -I miss her, and those things so much. Our time a month ago in Phoenix was such a refreshing experience -and now, it’s back to a life of being by myself again. I had a conversation with my aunt yesterday – Reflecting on that conversation today has left me feeling shakened and frightened. She only sees what she wants to see the way she wants to see it. I cannot make her see the pain she causes me and others. Why GOD?

I think for GOD, HIS only recourse in many instances regarding the salvation of souls is going to be ignorant In Alcoholics Anonymous a person who knows too much, thinks they know too much, is often doomed. It is apparent that a lot of people in this country they I think they have a handle on the GOD thing. GOD is thiS. GOD is that. GOD isn’t this. GOD isn’t that. And therefore I can decide for myself right and wrong. And when you start mixing in [confusing] GOD with human frailty, you lose faith [site] in God and humanity.

There’s always a point to something Built into GOD’S matrix -even though we human beings may be trying to make our own point, based upon our own motivation… I believe that God-built into the fabric of creation for things to radiate outwardly [and inwardly] with every choice, attitude, action we take, and at times in stark contrast to man’s intentions of selfishness, maliciousness, carelessness, ignorance… Were it not the case, I’m afraid GOD* would be PUTTING AN END TO this planet, this universe far quicker.

Some people can’t be reached. Some of these people we are tied to so deeply that the contradiction, the conflict seems at times unbearable -unsurvivable.

*mankind’s destructive nature would have been pertuated on himself, on the world around him for more tapidly!

We pray to GOD for various needs, but then we deflect the blessing itself by defying GOD HIMSELF, or by compromising HIS laws! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷‍♂️ Tell me there’s not atleast some truth to that!

And then of course there are the other people who who intercept God’s blessing for those greatest in need. Which is more plausible, a cruel GOD,, or cruel human beings?

What happened in the sixties was a travesty the took place between both the government and the American people. There were good people on both sides, and there were good people who bade mistakes on both sides. In order to understand more completely commore completely, we must understand everything that happened and the motives for what happened. These 2 pieces of the puzzle will probably never be fully known by the public.

Some people, as with family, will stand behind America through rithrough right or wrong. Still others will not stand for their country participating in wrong-doing. And of course these people will be looked upon as traders. I’m a firm believer that doing the right thing must always stand above allegiance. That choosing the right side must come before blood, before patriotism. Of course some people will be unable to understand this. Still others will lack the strength to do so.

Confiding to a friend before her death, Herz remarked that she had used all of the accepted protest methods available to activists—including marching, protesting, and writing countless articles and letters—and she wondered what else she could do. Japanese author and philosopher Shingo Shibata established the Alice Herz Peace Fund shortly after her death. A square in Berlin (Alice Herz Platz) was named in her honor in 2003.^[11][12] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_Herz

If one person’s voice doesn’t matter, particularly when they have a good point… Then don’t complain when people take extreme measures. The Serenity prayer States:

“God Grant us the Serenity to accept the things we cannot change call it’s, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Just this morning I was having a thought after after an early 7 AM meeting about the holiday anonymous to fulfill my responsibility to this great program by announcing my 32nd anniversary of sobriety -a testament to GOD’S GRACE still operating after 86 1/2 years.

I would like to close by simply saying that in my very small period of time in recovery it has become my understanding that; The 2nd part of the Serenity Prayer pertains primarily to ourselves, and only certain aspects of life; while the first part pertains primarily to our fellow human-beings, and only certain aspects of life.

Most Alcoholics need to learn more about acceptance than they do about control. The timers being used in modern day Alcoholics Anonymous meetings do not help that cause. People should be more concerned about what’s being shared in the meeting than about making sure that everybody gets their fair share of time. As I’ve said before, life isn’t fair is the foundation of spiritual growth -beneath it of course “LOVE”.