Some people have the gift of seemingly being able to pull a plan or a scheme or a scam out of thin air and making it apply to a real world situation – or making it, in the rarified air mind of people somehow resonate, gel… I’m speaking of things perhaps intangible, that are floating around in the air above us, and like Michael Angelo’s David they chip away at what’s unnecessary -around these concepts, these ideas, these plans… I’m talking about constructing an idea, or a concept, (seemingly) from nothing that actually works, that has weight, that has validity or merit!

“There’s a difference between having problems and being the problem!” When I first came into Al

Every body makes mistakes – but not everyone is willing to do something about them. Another way of looking at it – there are two kinds of people in the world – those who have issues, and those who have issues and are willing to do something about them.

As a woman, would you be more inclined to pick a man a pretends to be perfect, later you find out he isn’t, and doesn’t feel he has any significant issues to work on or change… or, a man who is clearly with faults, but is both willing to admit them and “work towards their correction (Bill W.)?

The more complicated my life, the more opportunities for my alcoholism/addiction to run wild. Whether drinking and drugging, or stone cold sober!

For many years I sluffed-off the notion of simplicity in Alcoholics Anonymous. In recent years I’m only now beginning to see to see the sanity of this of this invaluable “Pearl-of-Wisdom”.

•Title credited to Dr.Bob (Co-founder, and member of Alcoholics Anonymous).

I remember one of…, if not my very first lecture in Psyche 101 being, “Man’s tendency is to seek pleasure and avoid pain”.

“There are plenty of things on this “Old Earth”, and beyond to feel both joy and sorrow for…” – I’m sure some of the age -old philosophers have made mention to this effect – This is not an original thought lol

One should make a minimal effort towards being conscious of as many as possible – if not embracing them!”

As difficult as this may be I can think of several reasons for the logic behind this:

•God either made or allowed all things for a good purpose.

•God-created the universe with man in mind. “WE FIT”. And therefore, everything in it… and everything on us… The universe is something of a proving ground – though some treated as their own personal amusement park! It was created in part for man to explore God’s many great attributes, and in that process gain a deeper understanding of ourselves. And amidst all the ups and downs (challenges and heartaches) we face on this plane, to ultimately decide whether we are to side with God or satan – who we are to be in the end.

•You see, “what” we choose to run towards, and away from in this life, determines “who” we run towards, and away from in this life.

•Everything in this universe is the ultimate reality created by God! If we are to find ultimate sanity and build ultimate character one should neither deny – nor overindulge in any of it.

•All of man’s relationships: Whether with God; with himself; with his fellow man, creatures, are vastly, and deeply affected by his attitude and approach towards that exists. Many of man’s issues stem from his choice to run from X and run towards Y.

-WAR & FAMINE- You take for example conflict (be it individual or global) – In his efforts to have more than his fair share, “man often steps on the toes of his fellows and they retaliate”. Famine – some of us may not think of it this way but… Let’s face it, last time I checked the world is not comprised of infinite resources. “Selfishness — self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate”. (from chapter 5 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous – courtesy of Bill W. and approximately 100 other alcoholics).*

When we take more than our fair share we leave somebody out in the cold. People end up suffering, and hating as a result of it.

•Man was created with a certain balance in mind. His will of course, along with his thoughtlessness (of his fellow man) are (usually) to be found at the bottom of mankind’s constant imbalance.

God wants us to become more like Him – our Heavenly Father – and to build the best possible relationships with Him, our fellow human beings, and with ourselves. We can neither do this by over indulging in nor running away from – REALITY!

* Alcoholics do not have a monopoly on the misuse of self will – Self will run riot!

I have an aunt who is so concerned about keeping her house immaculate… It takes precedence over her own family and guests. She has deemed her relationship with that house to be Of greater importance han her relationships with her family, the few friends I’ve ever seen come visit… Even with her own husband from what I have observed. Now God says we are to open up our homes, and our earthly belongings to those around us oz around us. In doing so we not only please God 1st and foremost, But we treat others with love and a welcoming it’s welcoming that may sooth and satisfiy wounded,, yearning ❤ as well as our own.*

“”Nothing makes a person feel more at home than a warm welcome!” (and nothing less so – than a cold one).

*With the exception of an occasional friend, the moral robust family member and a somewhat cranky husband, “Our House” looks as beautiful – and… as empty as ever!

• Title credited to Graham Nash – sung by the great Crosby, Stills , Nash & Young .

“GOD IS NO RESPECTER OF MEN”

“MAN IS NO RESPECTER OF GOD (TRUTH)”*

*How long will it be before people attempt to shut down this site? I have only attempted to share my experience and the truth as it was passed on (conveyed to me). …and this is well documented throughout history that, mankind has little or no respect for his Creator!

•”…God is no respecter of persons…” taken from Acts 10:34. Noun. respecter of persons (plural respecters of persons) Someone who treats people according to their rank, status or importance. Be careful: a hurricane is no respecter of persons (https://en.m.wiktionary.org>wiki).

••Touche’ – 1. used as an acknowledgment during a discussion of a good or clever point made at one’s expense by another person. 2. (in fencing) used as an acknowledgment of a hit by one’s opponent. (Definitions taken from Oxford Languages).

Every time the government adds a new law it gains in power, and the American public loses power*. And the excuse? “It’s for the protection, and care of the citizens of these United States” – remember George Orwell? His world was filled with laws protecting the citizens of that country – to the point that… Having a bunch of lawbreakers running around in the world and a bunch of new laws isn’t the answer… Producing people who act soundly and sanely and keeping laws to a minimum – that’s the answer!! And it’s not going to happen – first and foremost, with both parents out of the house. The result of that is going to be more law breakers and more laws. George Orwell likely saw this coming – ANYTHING WITH NO END IN SITE (which by the way completely violates the law of moderation, in a collective sense of course) is ultimately doomed to fail! It’s certainly not going to resemble anything close to what it did at the start! America was considered “A diamond in the rough”. From the time she was established, and for almost two centuries that followed, ever polishing, ever honing her… One of the things that was so beautiful about America was the lack of too many laws and founded upon the vast majority of its’ citizenry having minimal moral standards (at the very least) – and respect for “the law”. It seems to me that people back then were more grounded, saying, and less pressure. And if you want to use pressure as an excuse for changes in behavior then I strongly suggest we start doing something about this pressure. Some people say you can’t go back in time… Well if that’s your response to all the negative changes going on in our world today then I feel sorry for you.

*By people running around acting inappropriately (the more creative people are becoming in acting inappropriately – and yes, we human beings are busy practicing creativity in all areas of life) they are paving the way for more and more laws to be created. And this new attitude where we don’t judge or criticize other people (it’s called holding each other accountable – or peer pressure)… It’s only paving the way for more of these types of behaviors to go unrestrained, unbridled. I’m sure Lex Luthor would be very pleased among other…).

I heard something about a law or a policy in place with regard to filmmaking where the bad guy always has to lose because to allow otherwise would encourage crime.

•Title credited to Sonny Curtis – originally sung by “The Crickets” (although the “Johnny Fuller Four” had the greatest success with it).

They used to say once you are an adult you no longer have to tolerate.. But what they didn’t tell me was that if your boss is an asshole, walking out and not having a job might not be much of an option. Or if you’re in a marriage where your funds are tied together, it would be a living hell to walk away. That part they left out.

After years of counseling I’ve Come to one absolute conclusion. The world is full of the same people now as the people who f***** me up in my childhood. People ain’t changed much – certainly not for the butter!

LIKE RATS OFF A SINKING SHIP

looking back, I needed a woman in her thirties or forties when I was in my teens and my twenties. Because I was always complaining about the women my own age and how selfish and irresponsible they acted.

ONE STEP UP… For some people Alcoholics Anonymous is a step down for others a step up and for still others a way through. For me it was a step up and away through – which is probably why I stuck around.

WATER SEEKS ITS’ OWN LEVEL Because of my attractive features (Pointed out to me by others), I believe I attracted women who had high expectations. I rarely met a woman if at all that accepted my inability to make a respectable incorespectable income. Given their own attractiveness, at some point I think many of them felt they could do be. As for my own expectations of them… Based upon a mixture of my own personal opinion and experience; I believe many women will not perform at a certain level until certain expectations have been met by their partner. For example, I’ve dated many women who are highly responsible and punctual in their jobs but nothing further from the truth in terms of our relationship. I concluded they had no respect for me because of my lack of financial proxy – And my argument twofold (three?): We live in a society which is largely and increasingly materialistic; The hunter gatherer mentality ingrained in our genes, our DNA, our history; Just like you I too have a family of aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings who’s attitudes and behaviors seem somewhat different towards other members who are highly successful versus other members who are not. Let’s face it, often times the guy with more money tends to get the prettier girl (sadly he just can’t keep her in many cases – the same holds true for beautiful women and their men).

UNLUCKY IN LOVE…

SCREW THIS… If you want to screw your worst enemy over and in the worst possible way, find a way to raise him as your own and be the most dysfunctional parent on the planet you can possibly be!

Under pressure, what’s on the inside comes out!

WHAT A GREAT COMEBACK! 2 of my favorite comebacks are “is it?” and “maybe…”

We stay sick in this country because we don’t dare reveal what we’ve been up to or what we’ve become or what we no longer are – And yes, if I were the devil left precisely how I would want to bring mankind down and keep him there.

SONGLIST: Cuts you up Peter Murphy; I need you to night ZZ Top

UNITED WE STAND… (The brotherhood of man) NEVER TEAR US APART (INXS) You want to Usher people into the 21st century then let’s do it-but let’s make it about MANKIND as a – hole and not about you! Let’s start building a society of people that are…. Rather than a society of people who are…

“Why do you write (fight)?” “”Because I can’t sing or dance! ” from Rocky

Fear of change? For many of us change didn’t entail a bigger house, in a better part of town; or a bigger, better car. Nor parents who gained in wisdom and love as they grew older.

When all else fails be kind and helpful to others.

You can learn a lot between the love of a parent and a child. I’m always curious as to why love between a man and a woman seems to take a dive in comparison to love between a parent and a child. Many people seem to think that love between a parent and a child is forever and that that should differ between a man and a woman. The Bible doesn’t say that. I guess the thought of having to put up with your child and your partner for the rest of your life is just too much for some people to bare! The other thing that differs between appearance love and the love of a partner is that with our children we accept them as they are whereas with our partners we expect them to make our lives tolerable if not better. Don’t we put up with our children for better or for worse? And doesn’t it say the same thing in The Bible? I never knew there was such a thing as conditional love. It’s like saying artificial air or artificial water…..

One of my all time favorite lines is from the movie “Rob Roy”. Mary, played by Jessica Lang becomes pregnant after being raped and has to tell Rob, played by Liam Neeson. When the time comes for Mary to confront Rob about the incident, tears streaming down her face, “I tried to kill it Rob but I couldn’t”. Rob responds by saying ” It’s not the child that needs killing Mary!” There’s a message in there for all who have undergone similar circumstances – A great courage and spirit are required – perhaps greater than any ever demanded of you before!

3 wishes – they’re not even like each other, they just think they are!

You understand the words but you miss the meaning!

You know how you can depict the highest attributes and the lowest attributes of humanity? Same way you can with animals. The bell curve! Now you could argue that by choice rather than by ability or lack thereof… The bell curve is an indication which reflects just that. You see with human beings ascending or descending restricted solely to ability (or lack thereof), but also willingness – and probably more often than not. Humans do not fail to ascend the latter of potential so much out of inability as by choice! Just ask any super-achiever who wrote a book on human accomplishment, and I guarantee you somewhere in that book… if the explanations for peoples vast and varied differences in achievement were restricted one’s ability alone – one could argue that that which created it’all did something of a piss-poe… or half-assed-job! Which of course we know not to be the case.👩‍🎓

Do your past experiences with people certain preclude you from caring about certain people?

My creditors are more attentive than my family – every month I git 10 bills a month, 120 a year, 600 over a 5 year period – you know how many letters I git from family? One, maybe two a year. THERES JUST NO WAY YOU SHOULD GIT MORE LOVE FROM CTEDITORS THAN FAMILY! I HAVE 10 CREDITORS AND 100 FAMILY MEMBERS – AND THE RATIO OF MAIL IS 60 to 1 in favor of creditors even though the ratio is 10 to 1 in favor of family. Ridicules. The other beef I have is that there’s no way people should be visiting their bank more than their Church – NO WAY!

And the thing with the Catholic priests… the people may be flawed but God’s word isn’t!

“Can I ask you a question””

“Yeah”

“Why do you wanna write? “

“Cause I can’t sing in’ dance – yoooooo”

There’s a difference between being respected and not being disrespected! You know what that difference is? One’s a positive and the other one’s a double negative.🙄

These 2 people have been dating for a while, and one evening the subject comes up about having children. The young lady hoping to avoid the subject altogether – Comes clean and tells the man “I can’t have children” – He smiles at her and says “I can’t either”.😇

I learned so much from watching old movies as a child. Things I never learned but should have from the people around me.

One of my favorite movie scenes is from bewitched where darwood is at work work and comes up with an idea and Larry tells him it’s horrible and then the client comes in and says how wonderful it is hilarious that’s that’s why we keep darwood on staff here

Some people don’t recognize a good hearted person when they meet them. And some people just don’t care.

Look at the little things God thinks of when He made us… Like a little lump at the base of our back of our front lower teeth so that when we bite into something it doesn’t skin or tear the point where the gum meets the tooth.

Both my blood type and my IQ are roughly in the 97th percentile isn’t that interesting I wonder what the differences between individuals character Victor and their blood type being positive or negative? Mine is positive.

I seem to notice people who are born under certain signs seem to have certain character traits – I wouldn’t thunderestimate the power of the position of the stars inn the universe when someone is born

I was about my father’s age when I had my 1st child. It’s funny how these patterns ripple through generations. How parents have 2 kids and then their children have 2 kids.

I noticed something very interesting about my mother’s and father’s ages but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was.

Jesus and I are both capricorns

I got nothing to offer these people-they want To be taken out to dinner, houst, to be entertained… to be pleasured or serviced take your pick, some of them want to look good in the eyes of others, someone the perks that go along with… I don’t have any of those things to offer a woman.

BY THE GRACE OF… THE BANKS HAVE DONE AWAY WITH THE GRACE PERIODS – Their explanation several years ago? Will you get your statement a couple of weeks ahead of time now, so you don’t need one. Well that’s the same thing as when your parents and your grandparents and mine did business. We got our statements a couple of weeks ahead of time so what? This is another way that mankind is encroaching and taking away any kind of disadvantage on their part. So now the day that it’s due if it’s not paid they can charge a late fee. And Even though a lot of places are willing to wave the late fee they want you to pay that anyways. You owe a $90 payment and a $35 late fee they still want you to pay a $125 on that payment for the month even though they’re waving the fee. I’m telling you the stronger these banks and companies get the more demands they make on us. That’s why we have to keep them weak. And then for being late a couple of days they said they can ordinarily raise the interest rate. I checked my calendar and saw that the 3rd Wednesday this month was the 19th and that’s why Twi I relied on waiting for Wednesday to come to make the payment. It’s the 21st and on 2 days late. The representative said they can charge a late fee and raise the interest rate for being late. I asked her what happened to the grace.? She giggled…

Anything over 25% was considered lone sharking and in my book it still is.

Everybody wants to rule the world-JC Penney. I went in one day and made a payment for $50 when the payment should have been 52. I told myself that I would call and make the other $2 payment when I get home which I forgot. During the covid in the covid era.. I didn’t get a statement the following month and I didn’t get an acknowledgment or anything like that that I was late 2 dollars on my payment. As a matter of fact I didn’t get a call or a text from them for 6 weeks. Reperiod resulting in not 1 but 2 late fees. Why didn’t they give me a text within a few days or 10 days of that $2 being late? They ended up charging Me Too! Late fees that they were only allowed to remove one… AHA now I can see why they waited 6 weeks to notify me instead of 2 weeks. They were gonna get 1 late fiat if it weren’t aware of the other . So come that they dropped my credit from 3800 down to my current balance of $1230. Thank God I had that much as a bound. What would they have done otherwise If I had had an $8 balance? So they waved one late feet and they got 1 out of me – calling it even?

For many a gal I dated who left, I’m a step down but for me she is not a step down – atleast not in my mind 🤔 This is usually the case when it comes to making a decision about partners. I noticed with one gal (maybe I just became more aware at some point) there was always a lot of evaluating going on. And when we first met she would say my ex husband didn’t do this or did that… Citing a lot of the positives about our new relationship that were absent in her marriage. You know what the difference is between an avocado, a tomato, and a prospective partner with some people – not much!

What makes people choose or settle for the jobs that they do? It will? I mean obviously the system has all these types of jobs and wants them to be filled so don’t tell me there’s not some programming going on there. But on the other hand people have the option of settling or ascending. So what makes people ascend and what makes people settle? I mean what if everyone wanted to be a bank president what would stop them?

I had a woman I dated tell me all the time how good looking I was, but you never told me anything about my character or personality?

The problem with defense mechanisms and people we love and deeply care about is that sometimes they work – too well!

It’s not a sin or a bad quality or a character defect to be on a disability. But a lot of people end up paying for it just the same whereas a lot of people with a bad quality commission call Mason, bad character often are overlooked by their partner’s.. By the opposite sex out there looking for a partner.

Whatever situations in life you face try to leave the ego out of it but. Unless of course you can come up with some ideas where ego is a good idea?

If you are among the unloved you may be one of those people astute at revealing whether a person is capable of true love or conditional love or pretend love. You see, in the world many people’s definition of love is based upon what they do for each other. And still others, pleasure-based!

IN A PERFECT WORLD-Jesus was not concerned with what other people thought because what does it matter when one acts perfectly, when one’s relationship with God is perfect, when one believes perfectly, and is completely free from guilt, shame, remorse… How is it that so many of us are concerned with what others think?

Looks like you got it all figured out-from the movie hard times with Charles Bronson

People who think highly of the world clearly clearly know how to operate within it. Because because let me tell you, if you do not operate within the the world’s rules you find out very quickly that it isn’t a nice place. Of course there are always those capable of convincing themselves hell is a nice place to visit

“Desperation is when you pray someone can do something. Hope is when you wish someone would do something. Desire is when you want someone to do something. Expectation is when you demand someone do something. Tyranny is when you force someone to do something. Monarchy is when you command someone to do something.”

We all have our own unique, individual strengths and weaknesses (a sort of thumbprint of one’s own character or makeup). One of my greater strengths appears to be “Hope” (sp. pr.), while one of my more glaring weaknesses appears to be “expectations”. I have a formula: “Hope + disappointment = pain; which in turn has a tendency to twist Hope into expectation” (heat + pressure… going from wishing somebody would do something, to wanting someone to do something, to eventually telling someone…). I think a lot of domestic violence can be explained as – many people whose initial “Hopes” were vanquished early in life (repeatedly). Anyways… 🤔

I think it’s time you get to know me a little better. I grew up in the Southern California area area of San Fernando Valley. I moved there with my grandmother shortly after my own family had fallen apart. My mother was invited by my grandmother to live with us in the hopes of reuniting mother with son. Among other things, she started drinking and was and was asked to leave. Some months after that my father showed up (just before the Sylmar earthquake of ’71’). He stayed with us for a month or so then moved to the other side of Los Angeles where his bad habits were less visible, and more easily supported. He became a weekend dad.

So, for the next 10 or so years… I can’t verify this for certain as I was young and otherwise distracted. But the pattern seemed to be this – It was almost certain he would show up on a Friday or Saturday between paydays, hit my grandmother up for money, take me with him. It was always 50 here a 100 there… “I’ll pay you next payday Ma”. Some weekends, probably the ones where he got paid – he wouldn’t come. Occasionally, he would call to let us know he was on the way and wouldn’t show up at all. Now to the point of the title – For 10 years I would wait out in the front of our apartment after an hour or so of stting inside watching TV. It always took him longer to arrive than what I estimated or expected (there’s that word expectation). He generally arrived 1 1/2 to 2 hours after calling. Maybe it was the traffic who knows. When a person is dysfunctional and selfish, it’s hard to determine anymore what the reasons are for this or that (the mind and the ❤ start to play games with you). I think my brother and I were very different in this regard. My brother recognized very early on what my father was like and and I don’t think he at some point continued to toil like I did. A different kind of child would have probably gotten on his bike after about an hour and just went out and did what he loved – but not me.

This sort of thing carried over into my intimate relationships with women. Quite often I was kept waiting on nights we had planned a date or some other event (some times they wouldn’t show up at all). Days when we had a falling out, same-old same-old… showing up late or forgetting my Birthday… we would have a fight, I would leave hoping (there’s that word again) to get a call or a knock at the door that never came. Psychiatrist and Psychologist say that people have a tendency to carry with them patterns from their childhood. One of mine seems to have been and continues to be – Not being of much value, nor worth respecting. This was obviously the case with my grandmother who valued me dearly but had little respect (my issues likely contributed greatly – If only it had meant more to me to gain my grandmother’s love 😪). And with regard to my father, there was clearly more devaluation than disrespect.

I’ll just end by saying this – I met the woman I thought was the one I would spend the rest of my life with back in 2008. As the old saying goes “If it starts out bad – it probably won’t end good”. She was married at the time and so was I. Long-story-short, through a series of very unfortunate events and extremely painful circumstances – I stopped sleeping with her 10 or 11 years ago. You see what happened to me is the thing that happens to almost all professional boxers – I became civilized. During my marriage, and then carrying over to this relationship, I was no longer able to have sex with a woman who hurt me emotionally – interestingly, by this time I had began to refrain from lashing out, as I had done in previous relationships… Change may have come slow to me – but it came nonetheless. So, in these 10 or 11 years I have still been unable to let go – hoping… albeit not much praying 😒! For the past 5 years she has been remarried to her 1st and only husband. During this time I have probably been better to her than I ever have – and my Love for her has not vanquished one iota – (BTW my personal definition of Love – it never dies and, it’s always more about the other person than about you. And that’s how I know my Love for Ana is real).

One final note: Hope may be a good thing, but it can also be a very painful thing – just ask… JESUS? Anyways, I’m very appreciative to those of you patient enough, and kind enough to wade thru this post 🤔 I hope there is something in it that may inspire you to something better in your own struggles – if nothing else, our own personal struggles CAN ALWAYS BE HELPFUL TO OTHERS – just knowing theres is not an isolated incident sometimes…☺

•Title credited to Stephen King from the movie “The Shawshank Redemption” – and of course Andy Dufresne.

It took about 15 or 20 years but I finally gave up on my dad (same thing after our father’s passing, in 1996, with regard to my brother) – I had to I guess move on with my own life, which for a couple two or three decades bore a rather eerie resemblance. Last night I was thinking 🤔 “I think it was more painful, all the years of rejection I suffered at the hands of my father, then even the years of being molested” – and more damaging too! I have no relationships to speak of in my life currently; no partner; no friends; no real ties to family (the latter by choice). The one relationship in my childhood I yearned for more than any was with my father. This is especially intensified when your own mother is incapacitated! My father as they say, was unavailable emotionally. The only real attention he ever , ive me was when he felt disrespected and asserted his authority – which he really didn’t seem to have much interest in either*.

*a tad crude butt – If you want to screw your worst enemy, and in the worst possible way, raise him yourself and be as dysfunctional a parent as possible. Ya know 🤔 While many young adults in our family were out making a living for themselves and enjoying life, I was sitting in meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and sitting in counseling sessions. So many years in my early life spent in pain and disappointment – the real work was just beginning (I guess it was a good thing I really didn’t know what lie ahead for me when for me once I got sober because life as I had envisioned it hasn’t worked out at all for me – But given the selfish, self-destructive tendencies of the alcoholic, I guess it’s not such a bad thing afterall).

The next post will continue the story between my father and I, titled “HOPE IS A GOOD THING, MAYBE THE BEST OF THINGS…”

•Title credited to Harry Chapin/Sandra Chapin from the song “Cat’s in the Cradle”. 😪