0720211004: There is such a thing as being too low maintenance. When you don’t speak up for yourself -other people really don’t learn anything.

And, by pointing out someone’s faults, we’re helping them to become better people through it, which is not the same thing as judging or criticizing them (remember something called constructive criticism?). Doesn’t The Bible say something about going to your fellow man, and addressing any issues you may have between you in a loving, beneficial way?* I’ve known people who do this, and it’s something I’ve never really been able to get myself to do. I just try to keep my mouth shut and leave people alone. I guess it’s an improvement lol

I know a gal whose husband is about as low-maintenance as they come (according to her anyways). You know what she had to say about her 30 year marriage -after several years with me lol (care to venture a guess where I scored on her maintenance- meter 😄). Anyways, looking back on her marriage she said she never really learned anything (and that she learned so much from me). Because she was never really challenged. And in addition -she felt her marriage lacked passion -on his end anyways.

*People often have good intentions but go about things the wrong way -in some cases the opposite way. Parents are perhaps the greatest example, and the greatest offenders. They don’t want to see their children suffer so they rescue them at every opportunity (many times, in fact, rescuing themselves for feeling like failures as parents). Again, this is precisely how someone, or some thing would go about breaking down mankind -first by breaking down the ties that bind us and strengthen us -and as a result, leaving us lethargic, listless; both spiritually and familially.

IF WE ARE UNWILLING TO BELIEVE IN ALL THE SO-CALLED SPIRITUAL HOCUS-POCUS, ATLEAST START TAKING A REAL HARD LOOK @ THE ENSUING FALLOUT THAT IS CORRELATIVE TO THE PATH WE ARE PRESENTLY ON -If you want to know whether the path you are on currently is for better or for worse, than simply compare the fall out now to the fall out of previous generations -and the path they were on. A lot of people today are saying life was much simpler, and much better years ago. And don’t give me this excuse about the world being more populated… It was the values and the decency, and the trust, and the stability in the home that was the difference back then.

It’s my own personal opinion, that you can argue an opinion, .. hmmmm 🤔 I’m not sure how this one is going to play out lol. So….. lettuce continue anyways shall we. As I was saying, “You can argue an opinion but not an experience”. On what grounds do you argue another person’s experience (exspecially if you weren’t there) – let’s start there. And end? 😄 I think that pretty much sums it up don’t you?

A lot of people don’t care for my verbalization of certain personal experiences with others. They tend to sound biased or critical or negative*. Maybe I come across as a whiner. Maybe some people have similar experiences and simply don’t want to be reminded of them. Maybe they’re bift (sorry, miffed was the word I was looking for -I probably haven’t heard that word used in 30 years so I was off a little bit lol – had to do a Google search on mift (sp?😏) after bift didn’t…) because I have the balls or the audacity to speak openly about it and they don’t -who knows* 🙆‍♂️

*I’ve noticed lately a lot of people in Alcoholics Anonymous don’t particularly care for what I have to say either. I’d like to think I basically speak the truth or rather -I’ve learned to shoot from GOD’S hip, for better or for worse. On a final note, If a room full of Alcoholics don’t like being told how it is, how do you think my ALCOHOLISM feels about it? 😒

*as you may be starting to notice, this website entails raw, highly personal material. There’s been enough political-correctness, pandering to the masses, deceit, phoniness, politicking, and flat out bulls*** going on among the masses of late to last several lifetimes – don’t you think? I think we really need to know, and some of us would like to know, in our world, and inside of one another – wouldn’t you agree? THE WAY MOST OF US ARE OPERATING, THE SYSTEM WE ARE OPERATING WITHIN -WE’RE GOING NO WHERE FAST! WE’RE NOT GAINING IN UNDERSTANDING OF OUR SELVES -NOR IN ONE ANOTHER**!

It used to be the me generation. Then the me first generation. And what next – The me first, and by the way, I wanted that yesterday, and while your at it “wrap it up, I’ll take it” (Fabulous Thunderbirds lmao) – to go generation 🤦‍♂️

**People have given up on themselves and on each other***!

*** If there is a devil, and there is, isn’t this precisely how he might go about man’s destruction!!

•How many people I thought didn’t like me -when the reality of it was that I wasn’t even on their radar.

•How many people I thought I offended, or owed an amends to whom, when I approached, had no clue what I was talking about!*

•How many women I thought might be interested, and weren’t – how many were, and I thought weren’t!

*making amends as a part of our recovery is a crucial part of the process of staying sober via Alcoholics Anonymous**. Many years ago I made a conscious choice, and basically stopped “admitting when I was wrong, and promptly admitting it”. My reasoning: it got to point where, I guess I got so self-centered about the whole thing I was making amends for things people didn’t even notice; but the main reason was that I was fed up with being the only one ever admitting I was wrong!***

**well maybe the rest of the world doesn’t feel the need to hold themselves to a higher standard of living; don’t feel desperate enough… You see, I have a disease whose treatment requires constant maintenance in the form of continued spiritual growth – self-accountability… among other things. “The inventory was ours, not the other man’s”****. It seems harsh and rather unfair – but is it? We in Alcoholics Anonymous, relegated (the choice is ours) to such ego-deflating practices, are probably some of the luckiest people in an otherwise fairly screwy world – some of you might actually be surprised! Anyways, no one forced the alcohol down our throats (in the vast majority of cases).

**Things I fell in love with about Alcoholics Anonymous:

You cannot be kicked out for any reason whatsoever;

There are no rules, organization, or leaders -only trusted servants;

Whatever we may have been or may be presently on the outside, we are all equal in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous;

We are all God’s children

We are all flawed

We had to stop blaming others and look at ourselves***

***Alcoholics Anonymous was essentially everything the world wasn’t -at least not in the world I had experienced

****Excerpt credited to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, chapter 5, pg. 67.

•Title credited to Pete Haycock/Colin Cooper/Richard Jones/Derek Holt/John Cuffley – sung by the great Climax Blues Band.

•The Holy Bible

•The Valtorta Enigma by Jean-Francois Laverne (in book form or Google search “The Valtorta Enigma.pdf” free download)

•Poem of the Man-God by Jesus and Our Blessed Mother Mary (5 and 10 volume book set or Google search “Poem of the Man – God.pdf” free download)

•Book that’s both entertaining, and edifying (Morally/Spiritually wholesome)

•Merriam-Webster Unabridged Dictionary

•New York Times + Crossword Puzzle

•Books on hobbies, creativity…

•Book on things you and your family can do for free or that cost very little.

•Book on traveling, and seeing the world at an affordable price

•Book on how to own your own home in 10 years or less

•Book on basic car maintenance – starting with your own 🤠 (while we’re on the subject, book on basic home repair)

•Book of your choice on a new language

•Book on Basic Human Anatomy

•Journal – write your own Book

•Book on the Id, the ego, and the super ego – (inner-child?). It’s good to have a basic knowledge of how we function, what we’re comprised of, and how to maintain all facets 9f our (innerverse or innerspace)

•Books on our rather fascinating Universe, or as I like to call it (outerverse or outerspace)

•Book on medical issues affecting the human body (Mayo-clinic). Get familiar with atleast symptoms of common medical issues!

•Book on basic wellness, exercise, nutrition…

•Book on what you want to be when you grow up

•Book on learning to play an instrument

•Book on child-rearing

•Book on basic finances

•Book of Basic Etiquette

•Learning how to build and fly your own kite

•Book on “What to do in case of an emergency”. Some common issues: Heart Attack; Choking; Drowning; Poisoning; Overdose; Arriving @ the scene of an accident; Snakebite; Stabbing/Shooting; Severed artery; how to stop a nosebleed…

•Book on basic knowledge of the law

•Book on human interactions I.e. keeping your Love alive

•Book on building and maintaining a structured life

•Book on basic knowledge of the principles by which the country you live in operates and abides by

•If you or anyone you know is having issues with addiction get a copy of: 1) The Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, 12 steps and 12 traditions, or Narcotics Anonymous Book, or A Program for You: A guide to the big book’s 12 steps for living, Alanon Book, Alateen Book…

*try to read atleast a couple books a year to keep your mind active

Ana and I first met July 19th, 2008. We fell in lust, and eventually in Love. I learned so much from her and grew perhaps even more through the pain of our struggles together and by being apart. I’ve known a lot of women throughout my life. Many of which I’ve told I loved through the years, and now I cannot even remember many of their names – (Please forgive my broken sentences this is not easy for me).

All I can say is that I had never really met a woman who truly understood or appreciated me like Ana did. It was frightening, the experiences and the things during the era we grew up in that we could share and relate to with one another. A number of things I did out of habit that reminded her of her father – things he also did. Some of my not so adorable character traits she absolutely loved, because her father had the same ones – things that many other women I had been with in the past absolutely loathed.

One of the things I love most about Ana is the little girl in her – her playfulness. There were these little things she would say and do that just made me fall in love over and over and over again (Chito and Chita were the names we gave to our little boy and girl). In so many ways too, she was selfless and thoughtful. Very personable around others as well. She could walk into a room with that genuinely sincere smile, gentle tone, and fit right in – she rarely made any waves unless you really pissed her off. And she also knew where, when, and with who to get pissed off (well maybe not so much the where and the when, but certainly the who lol). I guess it’s been 5 years now since she went back to her husband – we have remained friends during this time, but my feelings for her have not changed or slackened one bit in spite of “that fact” (nor many others… for that matter).

Based on this experience, I must contend (or concede 🤔) that true love never does die. Prior to this I could not say that or even believe it. I think many of us experience something that isn’t really love. You see, there are many different kinds of affections we human beings are capable of. Desires too can have a tendency to cloud things. As I began to fall for Ana more and more, I had not the slightest interest whatsoever in looking at another woman. Having gone through this experience I think I understand a little more now what true love really is. Especially since I have so much experience in my background regarding what it isn’t (one can never truly recognize or appreciate a negative until they’ve experienced a positive).

Anyways, the thought of sharing this today after God reminded me what day it was about an hour ago (16:52 p.m.). And the song “Lost in Love” by Air Supply almost immediately followed as the title for this post. It seemed only fitting then… So on the old YouTube I go, played it a couple of times. It was followed by “Send Her My Love” by Journey and the great Steve Perry. As the song was nearing its end I started wondering what to play next. The thought came to mind, “Feeling That Way” another great song by Journey – as the song was nearing its end, I was busy cleaning some DVD’s I had just purchased at the local bookstore – I didn’t have a chance to do a search for the song above I was thinking about. So guess what song came on after “Send Her My Love”? You got it – “Feeling That Way”. God always gives us what we need (provided we don’t interfere too much), and some of what we want too (provided it doesn’t take precedence over Him or what He asks of us for our own good). I decided to finish off my rather melancholy mood by listening to a song very dear to me that my cousin Tony had mentioned some 40 years or so ago* – he’s gone now but I often think of him when I look for it on YouTube. Well, thanks for listening. There’s some great tunes mentioned above if you care to take a listen. Bye for now. 🙂

P.S. Is your partner disposable? Replaceable? With regard to Ana, I would prefer that not be my only option at this juncture -> another facet of “True-Love” I suppose!

P.S.S. In situations like this most people generally have someone to turn to, someone to lean on. Most of my families either dead or scattered to the 4 winds due to our history of alcoholism and dysfunction. I think I’m holding up pretty well considering. I think I’m just gonna continue to go it alone. Unless God has other plans. Heard this a few times in an AA meeting – “You want to make God laugh, tell’em your plans” lol. I went through most of my life forcing things, things that have ultimately ended in failure – I heard a line from a wonderful movie called “The Verdict” starring Paul Newman – which pretty much sums up my attitude of late. “I can’t afford to invest in failure anymore Frank”. 😏 Or as Carlo Brigante’ so abruptly put it, “You don’t change, you just get too old to do the things you used to do”. That’s me!

*The song is “Alien” by the Atlanta Rhythm Section – song credits: Buddy Buie/Randy Lewis/Steve McRay.

•Title credited to Graham Russell (writer) – sung by Air Supply.

••Songs “Send Her My Love” credited to (Jonathan Caine/Steve Perry) and “Feeling That Way” credited to (Aynsley Dunbar/Steve Perry/Gregg Rolie) respectively.

•••Excerpt from the movie “The Verdict” credited to David Mamet (screenplay) and Sidney Lumet (Director).

••••Excerpt from the movie “Carlitos Way” credited to David Koepp (screenplay) and Brian De Palma (Director).

If satan were the one in charge of all of creation and beyond…. what do you suppose would be God’s fate at this time? Do you think he would be given a fair opportunity to save souls by satan? Do you think he would have any freedom or “Joy” (sp. pr.) whatsoever? Do you think He would even exist any longer? I’ll leave you to your own conclusions.

____________________________________________________________

If you had:

A boss that was ignorant.

A boss that was malicious.

A boss that was indifferent.

A boss that was benign.

How would each of these peoples attitudes, behaviors, and leadership qualities differ?

Never lose passion for the thing(s) you Love* (sp. pr.). Capturing God’s beauty has been one of mine for a very long time. I started taking pictures as a hobby in 1999-2000 with a Sony video camera. They had just come out with the “memory stick” and “snapshot” feature which I used to take the “white-light-experience” photo posted on the homepage.

Well, some years back I was doing some work for a (Painter) friend of mine, and just happened to bring the video camera along. After completing work, I decided to take some shots around his yard. I showed them to him and he told me, “You take some good pictures you just need a better camera”. This inspired me to later buy a medium format (camera), which I would later use for several years to come. Of course we Alcoholics gotta do things full-throttle (with one, or both eyes closed lol). He also gave me two pieces of advice: Get your work done before noon; and take lots and lots of pictures! And of course, being your garden-variety Alcoholic, I never took this most excellent advice! 😏

*It’s highly unlikely that, had I remained an active alcoholic, I would have ever discovered… let alone pursued this Passion – “Alcohol, now become the rapacious creditor, bleeds us of all self-sufficiency and all will to resist its demands.” (Excerpt taken from Alcoholics Anonymous text “Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions” written by Bill W. “circa 1953”).

•Photo taken with Samsung S10+ “circa 2020”.

•Photo taken with Samsung S10+ “circa 2021”.

••Title credited to 1946 movie “A matter of Life and Death” starring David Niven, Raymond Massey, and Kim Hunter – Michael Powell/Emeric Pressburger (each credited as writer/director).

•Photo taken with Samsung S10+ “circa 2021”.

••Title credited to Robert Jordans’ quote – “Death comes to us all; we can only choose how to face it when it comes”.

We all have our opinions on beauty – however, some things simply are!

•Photo taken with Samsung S10+ “circa 2020”.

••Title credited to Simone Elkeles and courtesy of… Harry Callahan – “Opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one.” I Love it!! Harry too!! “Marvelous!” 😆 (writing credits shared by Steve Sharon/Duke Pearson/Sandy Shaw – both quotes taken from the movie “The Deadpool” circa 1988, and based upon characters by Harry Julian Fink).