I seem to recall many years earlier, a notion that GOD would not require me to suffer physically throughout my life -that the emotional suffering which has always been present throughout isn’t throughout, would be all asked of, imposed upon me. 🙃

I remember in my formative years looking looking at people. Seeing the reality of life unfold in or from them. Feeling contempt for them simply being who they are in the moment. At other times it was the notice of a wrinkle, a wart, unattractive feet, a smell unique to them which I found offensive. These were the things I had to contend with within myself for many years yesterday’s, things which kept me from approaching “that next level of intimacy”.

Relationships do in fact form in stages. Some people do very well in accommodating these stages while others do not. For me it has never been. Not surprisingl, given the continual disruptions of the stages of my childhood development and the relationships I was surrounded by.