I realized many, many years ago, very early in my recovery, perhaps through the early years of counseling I have received, that a child doesn’t know the quality of his life or her life if that life is isolated more or less from other lives in perhaps an intimate sense, or; if that life is very much similar to the lives of those around them. I recognized early on as a child going from one home to another, and from a different culture to another (and various socio-economic levels) that… I experienced a very good life early on, as well as a very bad one early on. In addition,, I experienced inequality in life early on. I experienced what it was like to be treated with favoritism on the upside and then I experienced what it was like to be treated with favoritism on the downside later in life. To go from a very positive experience in life to a very negative one gives a child a perspective to compare to. There’s a bondage in that. Probably around the mid nineties I began to realize this about my life experience growing up. I just got through watching a video on YouTube about Sean Connery receiving the AFI award [2006 to be exact].. He talks about how as a child being poor in Fountainbridge Scotland, and not having anything to compare it to -so they didn’t know they were poor. He also said there was a freedom in that. I’ll leave it to you what to make of this comparison. I think it’s very interesting that his speech in some ways intersects my own thoughts on my childhood.

Some years ago, when thinking about where I would like to spend the rest of my life, I thought about drawing A-line on the globe from where I live now to a little place called Wheeling West Virginia, where I enjoyed many moments with my dear friend Lenelle, and intersecting that line across the Atlantic to some place in Europe and seeing if this might help me to find a place to settle down for the remainder of my years. Because I can’t seem to find where I wish to be in this world, and what I wish to do in this world, with the remainder of my life.

If it were illegal or immoral for you as a man to have sex with a woman how would you handle it? If it were illegal or immoral for you as a woman to have sex with a man how would you handle it? I’m watching the movie “The Hunt” with Mads Mickelson – This was the thought that came to mind. 🤔 INTERESTING

EDITED/AMENDED 10/24/2021