I realized many, many years ago, very early in my recovery, perhaps through the early years of counseling I have received, that a child doesn’t know the quality of his life or her life if that life is isolated more or less from other lives in perhaps an intimate sense, or; if that life is very much similar to the lives of those around them. I recognized early on as a child going from one home to another, and from a different culture to another (and various socio-economic levels) that… I experienced a very good life early on, as well as a very bad one early on. In addition,, I experienced inequality in life early on. I experienced what it was like to be treated with favoritism on the upside and then I experienced what it was like to be treated with favoritism on the downside later in life. To go from a very positive experience in life to a very negative one gives a child a perspective to compare to. There’s a bondage in that. Probably around the mid nineties I began to realize this about my life experience growing up. I just got through watching a video on YouTube about Sean Connery receiving the AFI award [2006 to be exact].. He talks about how as a child being poor in Fountainbridge Scotland, and not having anything to compare it to -so they didn’t know they were poor. He also said there was a freedom in that. I’ll leave it to you what to make of this comparison. I think it’s very interesting that his speech in some ways intersects my own thoughts on my childhood.

Some years ago, when thinking about where I would like to spend the rest of my life, I thought about drawing A-line on the globe from where I live now to a little place called Wheeling West Virginia, where I enjoyed many moments with my dear friend Lenelle, and intersecting that line across the Atlantic to some place in Europe and seeing if this might help me to find a place to settle down for the remainder of my years. Because I can’t seem to find where I wish to be in this world, and what I wish to do in this world, with the remainder of my life.

If it were illegal or immoral for you as a man to have sex with a woman how would you handle it? If it were illegal or immoral for you as a woman to have sex with a man how would you handle it? I’m watching the movie “The Hunt” with Mads Mickelson – This was the thought that came to mind. 🤔 INTERESTING

EDITED/AMENDED 10/24/2021

People have a very different appearance when fear is at the forefront and anger takes a back seat versus versus anger in the forefront and fear taking the back seat.

Perhaps the only way to have even a shadow of the right perspective is to know everything.

Everyone has a debt they owe -Shawshank Redemption?

Just as an example, how many times have I taken my eye off the road just long enough to have a serious accident – but for whatever reason, there was no car there at the wrong place at the wrong time.

I believe I already added this to a post and I will say it one more time. In the early nineties when our county was billed as the top unwed teen-pregnancy county in the country, And within a few years started witnessing the behavior of children being raised in households with no father… And going back many years further to when children were arriving to an empty home with a key underneath of doormat, I realized something 🤔 If we don’t take care of our children, they are going to start taking care of themselves -and we aren’t gonna like how they do it. And sure enough -here it comes! The question is, how stupid are we that we can’t… It’s one form of stupidity not to recognize when you’re doing something the wrong way, It’s a completely new level of stupidity not to recognize it after seeing the results! Anybody in this country not think there’s something very wrong with many of our children, something lacking?

Sidenote: Police, lawyers in many cases look at (the same) evidence differently depending on the position they are placed in or the side of the case they happen to be on. Judges in many cases as well.

Human beings need calibrating just like any other precision tool periodically.

Everybody is somebody

NOBODY GETS OUT OF HERE ALIVE – NOBODY GETS OUT OF HERE WITH MAKING A DECISION THEY ARE ACCOUNTSBLE FOR IN THE END!

We learn and are shaped personally through through the environment surrounding us -from wife’s beginning. In a sense we become that which we are surrounded by. Is some to a greater degree than others. It’s the way we’re made come regardless of whether that environment is a positive one or a negative one. How deeply does this tendency run within us? I would say that with few exceptions… the vast majority of us are as they say “a chip off the old block”. So, What we are asked to do from Jesus requires:

•Help from above

•Us to go against what the world has ingrained in us up to this point, as well as the impact the world has on us from this/that point 👉. As I was told in my 1st year of sobriety, “the bitch about recovery is having to work a program in the world that doesn’t have one”.

Sidenote: Man’s nature is such that when he doesn’t get what he wants he can get very difficult; have a myriad of reactions along the spectrum highly dependent on how badly he wants it. And in many instances, even if you walk through the situation with him with regards to the benefit of being denied… In many cases he will still hold on to that attitude -as if he didn’t believe it. When it comes to emotions, human beings are not cut-and-dry. We can become very nasty when we don’t get what we want -even when it’s in our best interest. Just look at a kid walking through the candy Isle with his mother.*

*Show me a child who is screaming at the top of their lungs for a candy bar like their life depends on it -and I’ll show you a child who probably doesn’t have a very safe, secure, close connection to anyone.

By certain peoples attitude towards, and about God -their implication is that they care more about what’s going on down here on planet earth than he does; and, 🤔 that they know better than God does.

Ever succeeded something by mistake that you could probably never srepeat in a million years -even if your life depended on it? 🤷‍♂️

Some folks improve with age -others decline.

Some people have extreme difficulty doing things for themselves:

•They want others to do it for them;

•They do it for reasons other than themselves.

Sidenote: I remember being very young, and a woman older than I being interested in me. I remember looking her up-and-down and seeing her age and being turned off by it. How arrogant and shallow of me.

Many words in the dictionary have yet to be given a definition and therefore the words themselves are missing.

I’m afraid I know little about human interactions. You can know everything in the world about something, still choose to do it your own way, and as a result fail in the eyes of many [by conventional definition].

If life in America is a reality, it is a reality far removed from many of the realities in the rest of the world. But with so many miseries and injustices in the world is world on a level many of us here in the States do not even wish to contemplate, Is it any wonder that a particular group of people have sought to create something far removed from the aforementioned and along with it, removing ourselves, distancing ourselves, alienating ourselves from the rest of the world -reeking envy, jealousy, inherent feelings of inequality and, let’s face it -this country and some of its decisions in order to maintain the lifestyle we enjoy, isn’t above reproach so, we can add to it a sense of injustice in some cases among our global neighbors towards ourselves.

If a woman loves 2 men, and one of them tries to get her to see and face things she doesn’t want to; and the other 1 doesn’t, which one do you suppose she’s going to pick?

Looking back on my life it’s evident that I never really learned how to navigate through life adequately. At the risk of making excuses, looking at the poor examples and the limited examples growing up around me… My dad wasn’t the best example of leadership and success. My mother not the picture of mental health. My grandmother about as simplistic as they come although not unitelligent by any stretch. Life was a disappointment growing up and that never seemed to change or improve.

The idea of being in a relationship with somebody I’m standing back I’m just letting them do whatever it is they do seems completely foreign to me. It lacks a certain amount of investment or interest. 🤷‍♂️ That does appear to be how some people approach their relationships however. There is their style or simply learned 🤷‍♂️

We’ve been stuck on the man powered bicycle for several 100 years now -what’s the next level for progression?

I’m trying to think back to the days when from where I was standing, the cops were the bad guys. I’m trying to recall the mindset of a person doing wrong without conscience. Doing wrong with complete and utter justification.

3 things that draw people’s attention:

1.We have something they want;

2.They see something interesting or curious about us;

3.There’s something about us they don’t like.